How to Properly Rot Five Common Fruits

Fruit and candy

Every season has a reason to eat candy instead of fruit.

Rumor has it that some people buy fruit and don’t eat it. It’s possible some people are eating Halloween candy that stores have been pushing since July. If I repeat this post periodically, trying in vain to get someone to read through it, just substitute Christmas, Valentine’s Day, or Easter for Halloween.

In other words, this advice is berry timeless.

Once fruit is in the home and uneaten, there is no other choice but to let it rot. After all, it would be a crime to throw it away during its prime.

Here’s what I know about rotting fruit so you can do it properly.

Bananas:  This is the easy one. Sit them out in the fruit bowl and depending on the heat and humidity, you can have blackened bananas in no time. This one is so common there are recipes that actually depend on rotten bananas, e.g. banana bread and muffins.
WARNING:  Do not cook with them if they have liquefied.

Oranges:  I find that if you pile them up you can have a gorgeous looking fruit bowl for weeks. No one is the wiser that underneath that façade exist ideal rotting conditions. Once you begin to smell acetone, however, it is time to don rubber gloves, dive in and chuck them into the compost pile.

Grapes:  I find this is one of the rare fruits that rots rather quickly in the refrigerator. Buy them on Saturday, store them in the climate controlled fruit drawer, and forget about them. By the next Saturday you can have clusters of mushy, moldy grapes. Maybe the fact that they were six weeks old by the time they started the trip from Chile to Maine has something to do with their hastened demise.

Cantaloupe:  This is one of nature’s most mysterious fruits. It is nearly impossible to determine if it is under-ripe, over-ripe or just ripe, If you notice some shriveling action with black streaks, sharpen up your shot put skills and fling this super fruit into the woods to fertilize the forest floor. And console yourself with a peanut butter cup.

Apples:  These smell so good even your nose doesn’t know they have rotted. I store my apples in the cool cellar, and they can last for a long time. By the time I remember that hidden peck of plenty, they are soft, brown and jellied (but not the good kind you put on toast).
WARNING:  Do not transport them in original paper bag since integrity of the bag could be compromised.

Before this topic deteriorates any further, I’ll ask readers what rotting tips can you share? What is your favorite Halloween candy? Do you count Skittles as one all of your daily fruits?

Molly Stevens

About Molly Stevens

Molly Stevens arrived late to the writing desk but is forever grateful her second act took this direction instead of adult tricycle racing or hoarding cats. She was raised on a potato farm in northern Maine, where she wore a snowsuit over both her Halloween costume and her Easter dress.