It’s almost Valentine’s Day and love is in the air. My husband and I have had a great run the past 24 years, and a lot of people ask us how we’ve been able to keep things shallow.
- Start with a shallow foundation: We built our relationship on a slab instead of a full basement; there’s not even room for a crawl space.
- Focus on the physical: We met at the gym working on our body image, and we’ve never looked back.
- Shared value system: We love food and nothing reinforces our bond like asking the question, “What’s for dinner?”
- Goal Setting: For long-range goal setting we sit down with a calendar and plan menus for a month. We like to fine-tune it with wine pairings.
- Mutual interests: We both enjoy television and can spend hours laughing at our favorite comedies, or engrossed in the deep meaning of House of Cards.
- Agreement about finances: We agreed early on that status is important and buying name brands is never a debate. This has gone a long way to create consensus with the checkbook.
- Shallanyzing: Rather than deep analysis of each other and our problems, we tiptoe into warm shallow waters. No deep dives that could be cold and shark infested.
- Low expectations: Any day can be Valentine’s Day when you don’t expect anything at all.
- Vacations without meaning: When we have time and money on our hands we fly on down to Disney World, the happiest place on earth.
- Poor memory for details: How can you hold a grudge when you can’t remember what made you mad in the first place?
- Low threshold for excitement: Bottle return day has us trembling with delight about how to spend our reclaimed $8.35.
- Comfort with silence: Instead of ‘reading into’ quiet time, we view it as a reprieve from meaningless conversation.
- Denial: There is nothing wrong with denial as long as you are mutually oblivious.
How do you keep your relationship shallow?