How do you judge a grocery cart? Take this quiz to find out!

Remember the hilarious movie “Date Night” when Claire (Tina Fey) and Phil (Steve Carrell) go out to a restaurant and analyze other couples’ actions, playing a game called, “What’s Their Story?” I have to confess something. I do this when I grocery shop. I examine the contents of people’s grocery carts, and make up possible scenarios to explain their choices.

This may sound judgmental, but I assure you, I am only doing it for entertainment. Even though I don’t mind it, grocery shopping can be boring. How about making it interesting by hatching up some ‘fish stories’ while buying your mackerel?

Grocery cart

What does this shopper have planned? photo by Shallow Reflections™

Take this quiz to see how you would judge the following grocery shoppers based on their cart contents.  Please choose only ONE answer

1. 17 half-gallons of Allen’s Coffee Brandy

  1. An alcoholic on a budget.
  2. Celebrating a special event with family and friends.
  3. Someone who likes to balance alcohol with caffeine to improve productivity. At work.

2. 55 boxes of Annie’s Organic Mac and Cheese

  1. She has quadruple coupons, and the store will end up paying her to take this cartload home.
  2. This is all the children will eat but at least it’s organic.
  3. The baby just ate the grocery list so she has no idea what else to buy.

3. Nothing but Lite and Low Fat products

  1. Hoping to deflate the midriff faster than you can say ‘Tom Brady was innocent.’
  2. Watches food commercials and believes them.
  3. Despite written warning, gulped McDonald’s hot coffee and permanently damaged taste buds.

4. Stick figure in workout clothes buying vitamins

  1. Health conscious and runs marathons.
  2. Has vitamin deficiencies due to genetic condition.
  3. Card carrying member of Dr. Oz Fan Club.

5. Box of Twinkies peaking through gigantic bundle of kale

  1. Closet junk food eater.
  2. Kale cancels effects of Twinkies.
  3. An underhanded kale hater added Twinkies to her cart while she was busy squeezing cantaloupes.

6. Frozen strawberry rhubarb pies

  1. There is an annual church pie sale coming up.
  2. Someone tried to make lemon meringue pies and had epic fail.
  3. All of the above.

7. 18 items in the ’14 item or less’ aisle

  1. Ruthless rule breaker
  2. Can’t count as had to drop out of school to support younger brothers and sisters.
  3. In a hurry to get home to have a sombrero (see number one).

8. More than 5 brands of cat foot

  1. Her cat Missy loves variety.
  2. Buying cat food to donate to animal shelter.
  3. Hopeless cat woman.

9. Fashion model buying celery and bottled water

  1. Really does eat but has an amazing metabolism.
  2. Needed one more ingredient for Waldorf Salad.
  3. She’s thirsty.

10. Woman in her 60’s stocking up on sanitary napkins

  1. She has a young daughter at home.
  2. She needs protection until her hysterectomy next month.
  3. She can’t bring herself to cave and buy depends.
11. Man with cart full of hungry man frozen dinners, a 12-pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon, and a Penthouse Magazine
  1. Wife has gone for the weekend and he is planning a marathon of his favorite treats.
  2. He’s had a temporary set back on and just needs a day or two to recover.
  3. This man hasn’t had a date in 13 years, and it’s not looking good any time soon.

How did you rate?

If you chose mostly ‘a’ for an answer, congratulate yourself. You are a master of the obvious with little imagination.

If you chose mostly ‘b’ you are empathetic, and give people the benefit of the doubt. Do plan to add Pepto Bismal to your shopping cart, because a steady diet of this attitude will make you prone to an upset stomach.

If you chose mostly ‘c’ then you are imaginative, creative and a bit snarky. In other words, I think we could be friends.

C’mon admit it. You’ve played this game too. What tales have you concocted?

Here’s the clip from “Date Night” just for fun. It features my favorite vegetable.

Molly Stevens

About Molly Stevens

Molly Stevens arrived late to the writing desk but is forever grateful her second act took this direction instead of adult tricycle racing or hoarding cats. She was raised on a potato farm in northern Maine, where she wore a snowsuit over both her Halloween costume and her Easter dress.