Bucket lists are fashionable, with people grasping to fulfill lifelong dreams. I don’t know about you, but I am intimidated by some of these lists that look like a ‘to do’ list for overachievers. And comparing my aspirations with these dynamos makes me feel pathetic.
Not one to tarry in shame and humiliation, I have risen from the ashes of self-pity to ask this question:
Has the time come to advocate for people who are afraid to dream small?
Do you belong to this tribe? Take this quiz to find out:
- Does staying in a B&B include your own bed and a bowl of Lucky Charms?
- Is a spontaneous road trip dashing to Hannaford for a six-pack?
- Does touring the islands mean a paddleboat ride around rock formations in a pond?
- Is getting that suspicious mole removed your version of plastic surgery?
- Is your idea of a motor home a 2001 Subaru with reclining seats?
- Is room service when your husband brings you coffee in bed?
- Is international travel crossing the border from Maine into New Brunswick?
- Is your home security system a pit bull and a loaded Remington under your pillow?
- Is an adventurous hike a trek across a Walmart parking lot?
- Does regular investing involve buying a lottery ticket every Friday night?
- Do you put ‘new car battery’ on your Christmas list?
- Does dining out involve driving through?
- Do you wrack up frequent flier miles watching planes take off and land at Bangor International Airport?
Scoring the quiz:
- Total the number of times you answered ‘yes.’
- If that number is zero, than add one.
- If your score is one or greater, you qualify as a card carrying member of the Rusty Bucket Brigade.
Now that you belong to this exclusive club, there is no limit to the limited dreams you can muster. I have a few examples to thwart the inflated ambitions of the most fervent adrenaline junky.
- Shopping splurge at Family Dollar
- Scoring a prescription for medical marijuana
- Buying a car still under warranty
- Landing a membership at a miniature golf course
- Paying with cash to have your septic pumped
- Bathing a cat without a trip to the emergency room
- Attending a pig roast
- Meeting the president…of the PTA
- Singing a Karaoke duet while sober
- Bicycling across the Chamberlain Bridge from Bangor to Brewer
- Driving an alternate route to work
- Starting a box wine club
- Getting a spray tan
- Sampling deep fried butter
I trust this list will be a springboard to brainstorm other small-scale adventures. Aren’t you relieved that the pressure to hold a tarantula, climb a volcano, or bungee jump has vanished? Are you ready to commit to an asylum of below average yearnings by composing your rusty bucket list?
I’m sure you’ll agree it is time to declare with pride, “I am rusty, hear me squeak.”